"Whoa! You have your hands full!" uhhh, no shit.

It has taken me a damn long time to write this blog post. I should give you this long ass paragraph about how fucking busy I am, blah blah blah, but honestly, what does it boil down too? I'm fucking tired yo! But here it is... And thanks a million to all those who follow me and read my stories! It amazes me how much people reach out and say they enjoy reading! I appreciate it more than you will ever know.... I really will try to write more often! I'm considering making my blog a Facebook page and opening up to strangers to read...Should I? Thoughts? Can the common stranger handle my foul mouth? 

Now onto other things-

Let me tell you...when you walk into anywhere toting twins, it's a damn spectacle. People stop, get up from their seats, and practically piss themselves. Then they go on and on about I must have my hands full... And you know what I say to them? "No shit." Not really bc I'm nicer than that to strangers but that's totally what I am thinking.. No shit my hands are full but dammit I'm getting out of my house!

I've mastered taking the twins out. In fact, I confidently took them to the zoo last Thursday with my friend Tasha. We had an excellent easy time with her son Lincoln strolling through the zoo, even drinking a delicious cold beer looking at animals. Minimal crying. It appears we dominated the zoo. Good times were had by all.

I thought, holy shit, I can totally do this with all three! It will be butterflies and rainbows. So this past Monday, I decided to take all three kiddos to the zoo with my friend Carrie and her two kids too. So I throw all these little shits on my monstrosity of a tripleish stroller and start trotting through the zoo.... How long did I make it? 40 minutes. How many of these minutes were enjoyable? 4..maybe. It was a damned shit show. Crying, screaming whining... Everything a mom loves to hear.. So I said..fuck this, I'm leaving... And I have never been so fucking happy to get home... My apologies to my good friend Carrie for leaving you so soon :) sorry no pics of said shit show. I just wanted to get the hell out of there...I can show you how I was feeling afterwords--

No happy babies, not a happy mama

Then we got over it and now we are all friends!

Also,I must show you this... JB has taken a liking to the baby swing... uh dude, you are way to big for that shit... but he doesn't give a damn.

And here is a few more random pics...

He also really likes his little sister. Its truly fucking adorable...

Finally, here is a another angle from Jenna using Jack as a foot stool... cracks my shit up...

Happy Monday!

We Chopped His Balls Off!

Welp , Officer Zeller got his balls chopped right off last Thursday... say a little prayer for him that he ends up with a full recovery!  Okay, Okay, we didn't really chop his balls off, but he did get snipped. Yep, we went ahead and did the whole vasectomy thing. I can almost say we are done having kids... almost done, bc he still has a few leftovers in there and I don't want to jinx it :)

As much as some people would assume that it was an easy decision for us to be finished having kids, it was kinda hard for me to say that we were done. I knew deep down in my heart that we didn't need anymore, but part of me wasn't ready to snip it. I think the final straw for me was the fact that I could possibly have another set of twins. While the thought of one more, wasn't that bad.. the thought of two more, again, made me want to take a screwdriver to my temple. 3 screaming kids at once also helped make the decision. I came to terms with it and had the officer make the appointment.. easy peasy. 

Now, onto a different subject, other than permanent birth control...my toddler gave me a run for my money the other day. He was taking a bath like any normal weekday night..I was sitting in the bathroom with him but I was playing on my phone not really paying attention.. yeah yeah mom of the year, i know, i know...  when suddenly he stood up and then squatted down. That is when I realized he was doing a little more than just standing up.. he gave me a big ole smile and preceded to take a little mini shit in the bathtub... So I pull his happy little ass out of tub and below I see a little turd floating around... WHAT THE HELL KID!?!? I was in complete shock! He has never done anything like that before! First time for everything, I guess..lots o scrubbing of the tub to do, just in case...

JB also has the weirdest fucking obsession with lights. on, off, on, off, with every.light.in.the.house. This was cute and funny for the first 1000 times. He flips his shit when I don't let him turn the lights on and off...so in order to keep the kid happy. I just slapped his lamp on the floor, let him turn it off and on, and he was happier than a pig in shit. Dude, I have 1 million toys you can play with, but a lamp is what makes you happy? weirdo...

Oh yeah and what about the twins? They are doing great! They are just in a boring time of their life... I mean they do the kinda shit that parents think are adorable, laugh, smile and coo but you all probably don't give a damn about those kind of updates. But for those who like to compare milestones (bc as parents, lets be honest, we like to compare our kids to other kids) Jack rolls over from belly to back all the time. Jenna has rolled over once from back to belly and other than that, they aren't doing much of anything else. They both still have weird shaped heads but they are starting to look better. Here's a few pic!

Have a great week!