Confessions of a Toddler Soccer Dropout

As parents we do activities and go to events because we think "the kids will have so much fun!" But in actuality, they bitch and moan and want no part of it. For instance, I signed JB up for soccer. It's not real soccer, but they practice with a ball and play little kid games.When I signed him up, he was about to turn 2 and I thought he would love it. I must tell you that there are not many soccer programs for toddlers. Maybe two in the area. There is definitely a reason for that... BECAUSE 2 YEAR OLDS ARE TOOOO YOUNG FOR THAT SHIT!!!

The officer and I go to our first day of soccer and it was not fucking fun at all. First off, he was going through this " I just want my mommy" stage so when the officer took him out onto the field with the other kids, he just ran back to where I was and whined...So..okay fine, I go in.  Mind you though, I did not dress properly to be playing fucking toddler soccer.

Well, I learned very quickly that he didn't give a shit about what game we were playing. Some of them he loved, and some of them he just screamed through, or ran to the other side of the field. It was so.damn.exhausting. and chaotic. I felt completely like my kid was only one who wasn't doing what he was suppose to be doing. I look over at the officer and he was dealing with the twins who were screaming. I yell over to him to just take the twins out to the van and try and feed them/change diapers. Guys, this was the longest 47 minutes ever. During the games, I just wanted it to be over. Finally, FINALLY, it was done. 

I get out to the van and immediately, I'm thinking, "Ahhh, it wasn't that bad...We can do this for 11 more weeks." The officer however, thought it was terrible and decided that he probably wouldn't be returning. shit. 

Now in the officer's defense, he works overnights fighting crime. Soccer was 11am on Saturdays and it was hard to get up for. Soo in the next few weeks, I recruit my mother to go with me because I needed someone to watch the twins on the sidelines while I dealt with the soccer bullshit happening on the field.  After a few weeks, of skipping soccer because she couldn't go or driving the 30 minutes up to soccer..(oh yeah, did i mention it was 30 minutes away?) I decided I didn't give a damn anymore. I was done. So I quit going. My sanity was worth more than the $136 it cost. He clearly didn't love the games we were playing. He wanted to run the field.Hell, we could that in our back yard or at the park down the street. Fuck it. Nope. I'm done. Maybe I am dick/jerk/asshole for quitting..I can handle it..We will try again when he gets older. 


BUT we got a t-shirt. Here are some pics of his $136 t-shirt...and you can tell how happy he was to go to soccer...

He can wear this damn t-shirt everyday for the rest of his life... Sorry kid.