My little angel is a little devil

First I need to show you this. My sweet little Jenna has 7 teeth. However, she is currently missing one of her big front teeth. I don't give a shit that it hasn't come in yet, I mean, it will eventually. But there is no sign of the tooth whatsoever...For now, its pretty funny.  I kinda like my little hillbilly baby!

 Now a little background on my twins that I don't think I've ever put out there. Besides the fact, they are a boy and a girl, they are very different.  We have always JOKINGLY referred to Jack as the "bad one"... Because well, sometimes he's fucking tough to deal with. He cries a little more than her, yells a little more than her, shits a little more than her, sleeps a little less than her etc... You get the drift. Jenna has always been a very chill baby who is hardly high maintenance so she's always been deemed "the good one'...

Now that you know those little tidbits, I noticed a few weeks ago that occasionally when I am not giving my full attention to the twins that Jack will sometimes let out random screams when they are playing toether. I'll check on them and everything will be fine so I don't ever really worry about it. Well, a few weeks ago Jack let out a scream and when i looked up I noticed that my sweet little Jenna was BITING the shit out of Jack's back. I went to grab him and I noticed this on his arm....Look familar? 

awe hell. 

then after a little more investigation, I found another bite mark on his back. 

so it turns out my little sweet Jenna is actually a damn vampire. Fortunately, there has been no blood drawn or I would be really freaking out...

How do I even address this? The chances of me being able to get an 11 month old to stop using her brother as a teething ring is as likely as her to start pouring me a glass of wine during happy hour..Not going to happen. Guess I will have to start watching my little she-vampire and he-devil like damn hawks.

This shit never ceases to amaze me... now someone pour me some wine...




 
 

My kid is weird.

Sorry it's been a while.. I haven't ruined any more of my mothers shit lately so I've been a little low on content. But here's what I've got so far.

One major update! For those of you who don't follow my Facebook, the rat tail has been cut! We won the big battle and I have all of you to thank! The officer gave us the okay to cut the rat tail a few weeks ago... Her hair so looks much better! We even slapped a little pink bow around it the baby book... 

 I've also started putting her hair in a little pony tail and guys it's cute as hell... 

Now... my other thoughts! Toddlers are weird. Maybe it's just my toddler but he's sooo freaking weird. I've told you before that he has a fascination with lights. Well, that still stands and it's worse. He also is obsessed with fans... Ceiling fans, box fans, small oscillating fans etc... He likes to play with them. This kid has more damn toys than Toys R Us and yet he chooses to play with random fans and lights.  He moves them from room to room, has me turn them on wherever we go.. It's so fucking weird! He does the same thing with lamps... See pic...

 He takes all my lamps and fans moves them all into my living room. Then turns them on and is so damn proud of himself... Strange shit right? 

But what the hell am I supposed to do? He likes what he likes, I guess...right?  What weird shit do your kids do?

I'm also a damn mastermind pro at taking three little ones out to a restaurant. I can take all three kids out to eat with my mom with little to no problems.(I go out with her mostly when the officer is sleeping) Since we go out a lot, I've got it down to a damn science... It wasn't always like that. I used to not be able to fucking breathe the entire time I was at a restaurant because I would be so stressed out that a baby would SCREAM or they would throw all the food on the floor. For a while, I was that asshole mom who let their toddler play with the creamer, salt shakers, and utensils to keep them happy. That shit can make a real mess!! And the toddler would still whine and bitch until the food would get there, thus, make me want to say, fuck it, let's just leave. We never would leave, I would just make it through ask myself "why the hell do I put myself through all this misery?!? oh yeah, its because I'm hungry as hell and don't feel like cooking a damn thing."  I finally realized that this also made me a real asshole parent that most waitresses despised... 
So I invested in a few sticker books and one of those Cracker Barrel golf tee games..Guys, this creates hours of fun for a two year old! (or at least until our food gets there) Voila! I've no longer a dickhead that servers and surrounding patrons want to punch. I win!

We also pick places that we know for a fact won't be crowded and there's a little room for the toddler can run around and not get completely pissed off sitting there.

I should add in that the twins are still in infant car seats, I usually don't put them in high chairs because that would add an extra level of bullshit stress that I'm not ready to deal with yet. In time, kids.

Keep em locked in as long as possible!!

The three places we continually go are Greyhound Tavern on Saturday mornings, Barleycorn's for lunch and Colonial Cottage for weekday breakfast. I highly rec all of them if you want a kid friendly place where even if your kid is an asshole, they don't mind very much. Care to add any places? Lemme know!